Coming Home

When we’ve lost our way,  how do we come home? Sometimes coming home means going deeper into the forest first.

I spent many years living a very different life than the one I have now. I was raised in the suburbs of Florida, then I moved to New York City for six years. My connection to nature was few and far between, and the idea of owning horses was a distant dream that seemed totally unrealistic. 

I spent a lot of time feeling like something was missing. I felt that, as a society, we had lost our way a bit. Don’t get me wrong, there were a lot of things I loved about living in a big city. But, it also made it easier to see that we have removed ourselves from the natural cycles of life in a way that seems like stepping backwards. 

Many times I’ve talked about how I romanticize the “old days.” Hand written letters, company gathered around a fire or a homemade meal, photographs taken with film and kept for years in a physical album. My generation feels a lot of this nostalgia – maybe even for things we’ve never experienced. We’re so used to our modern, individualistic and technologically-driven culture that even some of the most basic elements of life seem out of reach. 

That’s what drew me to farm life – and it seems to be a popularly-romanticized, if not common, dream amongst my peers. 

However, the reality of entering this way of life after being raised so far from it has been somewhat disorienting. Although it feels much more natural to me now, I had to journey through the forest before finding my way home. 

Don’t we all feel the call of the wild inside of us somewhere? Doesn’t everyone experience a sort of internal-reset while gazing at an ocean’s horizon or off the top of a mountain? We know our ancestors lived closely in-tune with the earth and other animal species around them. Why does it feel so far away from us, so out of reach? 

I believe there is a two part answer to this question. The first being that we inevitably feel separate from the things we don’t spend much time around. If you rarely take a walk through the woods, then on a day that you find yourself there it will feel foreign and possibly scary. You do not know how to read the signposts of the forest that will return you to safety.

Secondly, I believe there is a deep desire within us all to know ourselves and our true purpose. That being said, there are many challenges, distractions, thoughts, and beliefs that can muddy the water and make our reflection look blurry. There is always relief, understanding, connectedness, and peace to be had within ourselves – but this takes a journey to the depths of our inner-wood, the forest within, and it requires getting back to our roots, slowing down, and listening. 

For me, this journey began with my first horse, Kamali. Never before had I really understood my desire to be near horses, to see through their eyes, to know the world as they know it. All I knew is that I wanted it, and I had no idea what I would go through to find it. When I got Kamali, that became a reality for me, and suddenly my search to understand Kamali became a journey to understand myself. My expedition is never-ending, of course, but my animals have guided me through the wood, and I have found my way back home through them. 

When we look to other people, things, and places to make us happy, we discover that there is always something missing. What’s missing is within us waiting to be discovered – happiness & true freedom are just on the other side. You will never truly know the magic that awaits if you’re unwilling to brave the wilderness. 

Not everyone has the opportunity to be led by a horse through the depths of their soul, but everyone does have the ability to learn the same truths, discoveries, and inner-answers that nature has to teach us. Because of this I’m creating an online program that will guide you through the forest the same way I have been led to my truth. You will have a chance to experience this journey through a virtual, sensory exploration into your self, through the wisdom of nature and with horses as your guide. I believe you will find what you’ve been looking for. 

If you are interested in the release of this program or have any questions, please feel free to reach out to me. And as always, I’d love for you to share this blog with anyone you feel might be interested.

“And into the forest I go to lose my mind and find my soul.” 

 –John Muir